Thanks to everyone that participated in the 2023 Men's League and we hope that everyone had a great time.  We also hope that everyone that attended the season ending banquet enjoyed themselves, while we had some fun at other expense.  It was a great night.

 

Thanks again to the rest of the Men's League Committee in Nick Holubowsky, Colin "One Job" Murphy and Wayne Nicholls for their contribution this year.

 

A reminder that 2024 Registration information will be sent via email in February of 2024 so please keep an eye on your email to avoid any issues with your registration should you wish to join us again next year.

 

Lastly we hope that everyone has a great Fall and Winter and May 2024 will be here before you know it.  

 

Playoffs - Week 4 Recap

Well that's it folks!!!!  The Auditors are busy tabulating the results and have assured the Committee that all results will be ready for announcement at the Year End Banquet on September 28.  They will be posted on the website after the Banquet.

 

What we can discuss is our On Course contest which was the fitting Closest to the Keg.  This was won by Lou Pellegrin.  In our Closest to the Pin contests we had Mike Lasebnik on Hole # 7 as Mike seems to rounding into form just as the doors to TopShot begin to open.  On Hole # 9 we had our 2nd HOLE IN ONE of the season and this time it went to none other than Jim Citrigno.  Good Luck to both guys in the Year end shootout next week.  Emails will be going out to all shootout competitors very shortly.

 

Our Sandbagger of the Week honors was a real dogfight as multiple people "stepped up their game" in an attempt to help out their team.  We had 4 Net 30's from the likes of Troy Cooper, Jeff Lake, Mark Rossi & Larry Christie and as good as these guys played they were short by only two strokes as Mike Kozak put together a net 28 for the Shank's a Lot team.  Just wonder if it will be enough of a spark???  This weeks Most Honest award goes to Ted Lis as he fired a 56, Net 47 for the Push Cart Mafia Team and I think we all know now how they finished up the season.....YIKES!!!!

 

Last reminder that RSVP's for the Banquet next week are REQUIRED.  If an RSVP is not received by Saturday September 23 then a meal will not be provided.  RSVP's may be sent to mensleague@twentyvalley.com or by using the signup sheet in the Men's Locker room.

 

BANQUET DETAILS

 

YEAR END SHOOTOUT - 5:30PM on Hole # 2

DINNER - 6:15PM

AWARDS - 7:30PM

 

Playoffs - Week 3 Recap

One Week to go!!!!  Well it has been a terrific season and with only one week to go in our playoffs there is still lots up for grabs.  In the Pyper Division unfortunately Push Cart Mafia have absentee'd their way out of the money as they were unable to post a team score this week.  The remaining 4 teams are all still in contention for the Top 2 paying spots.  In the Slaine Division all 5 teams are still in the running for the Top 3 paying positions.  It looks like it is going to come down to attendance next week as the races are all very close.

 

This week's winners were Saudi Pro Tour who posted a +2 followed closely by Who's Your Caddy three back at +5.  Previously mentioned Push Cart Mafia continue to struggle as their team was unable to show up with the 14 players required to field a team score.  Not sure what you said to them Stu but they seem to be more interested in America's Got Talent than playing for their team?

 

The On Course contest this week was the Longest Successful Putt on Hole # 4. This was won Mike Morrison which in itself seems to be a little surprising as Mike typically saves his best shots for Twenty Valley Field Days....  Our Closest to the Pins this week were won by none other than Mark "Imaginary Golf" Gilbert on Hole # 7 (NOTE: Nice Par Gilbo!!!) and Chris Lampman on Hole # 9 (NOTE: Nice Par Chris!!!)  I know that Mike Karasinski has been seen giving lessons on the practice green guys but if he can't squeeze you in perhaps a quick call to David Mego should have you dialed right in on those tough 2 footers???  Thank heavens the Year End Shoot Out doesn't have a putting component right guys!!!

 

We have decided to not report the Sandbagger of the Week this week in an attempt to show compassion and understanding for our fellow golfers as many past winners may have had to suffer undue ridicule in subsequent weeks.....SAID NO ONE EVER!!!!!!  This weeks honoree has taken these honors before and has risen to the forefront once again this week and go figure it is week 3 of the playoffs.  Coincidental I am guessing....this 11 handicap whacker of the little white ball somehow managed to stumble their way around the front nine in only 37 strokes (please see previous reference to this being Week 3 of the Playoffs) to post a special score of 26.  Gentlemen, I present to you none other than the quiet, unassuming Bill "Cecil" Blake. Please send any and all comments c/o the Town of Lincoln Fire Department.

 

This week our Most Honest golfer, and I use that term loosely is none other than Jason "How does this handicap thing work" Hensen as he used his 1 handicap to full value as he punched the ball around for a Gross score of 50 and for those doing the math in your heads, that is a Net score of 49.  Bravo Jason!!!

 

We don't typically mention much about our weekly Skins but thought that we should this week as Joel Davis seems to be on quite the roll.  Last week he was the only skin in the B flight, yes the B flight....winning $136 and didn't he turn around this week in the A flight, yes the A flight....and be the only skin for another $58.  Well done Joel and I am sure that you may have to explain exactly how this handicap thing works to Jason as you seem to have it figured out...just saying.

 

Just a final reminder that RSVP's for the Men's League Awards Banquet are due not later than Saturday September 23 either via the sign up sheet in the Men's locker room or via email.

 

Thanks and best of luck to everyone in the last week of the playoffs.

 

 

 

Playoffs - Week 2 Recap

Well Week 2 didn't disappoint as the Divisions are taking shape.  It would also appear that the Regular Season leaders Don't Rory be Happy have rested a little too hard on their past performance and are sinking like the proverbial lead weight in the Playoffs.  Time for Captain Dave Dickey to reign in the troops and get them back to their regular season performance if they want any hope of being on the podium at the end of the playoffs!!!

 

In the Weekly Competition the Leaders came out of the Pyper Division as Shanks A Lot posted the weeks best at +4.  They were followed very closely by the Slaine Division Leaders, Tall Boys and Long Putters, who posted a +6.  The Pyper Division is where the action is as the top 4 teams are only separated by 9 points and with last place Push Cart Mafia what can really be said as they have been AWFUL all year.  Well the good news is Stu is that if you guys can't right the ship fast you won't need to go through the stress of team selection in 2024.  Maybe you and Dave Dickey can sit together next year and remember the good old days....

 

This weeks On Course contest was the Open Longest Drive and Hole # 2.  Funny but now that Trevor Low actually qualifies by age he is no where to be seen?  This was captured by Kyle Stephenson.  In our Closest to the Pins the winners were Rob Van Wely on Hole # 7 (Nice Par Rob!!!) and Colin "Squirrel" Hughes on Hole # 9.  More information on the Year End Shootout below.

 

Our Sandbagger of the Week honors go to Mike Rodrigues who attempted to lead the Master Faders by posting a very smooth 29 (-6) unfortunately it was to no avail as the rest of the team didn't follow Mike's lead.  This week's Most Honest award goes to Men's League Committee member Wayne Nicholls who managed to kick the little white ball around the course 55 times, including a par on Hole 6, to fashion a strong Net score of 50.  Great to hear that Wayne will be taking that stellar play across the pond later this month so we hope that you paid for the overweight baggage option so that you can get all the balls you will need into your suitcase??

 

Lastly for all those shooter's that capture a Closest to the Pin award this season.  You will all be entered into the season ending shootout held on Hole # 2 in front of a packed house on banquet night, September 28.  The participants up to and including this week are as follows:

 

Week	Closest to the Pin Hole #7	Closest to the Pin Hole #9
1	Dave Dickey	Wayne Nicholls
2	Joel Martens	Bill Winn
3	Alan Noble	Joel Davis
4	John Valk	Doug Decoste
5	Mike Karasinski	Shawn Thomas
6	Mike Baines	Az Bacchus
7	Mathew Porkolab	Griffin Gillis
8	Gord Dunn (Ace)	Joe Holubowsky
9	Terry Lohnes	Mike Haslam
10	Mike Konkle	Sid Wasitis
11	Nathan Nicholls	Shawn Thomas
12	Hal Kerby	Paul Byrne
13	Zac Matthews	Ken Napper
14	Peter Erwin	Dick Ruschiensky
15	Bob Bentley	Don Stepien
16	Bill Winn	Nick Stoehr
1	Jeff Lake	Robin Mallory
2	Rob Van Wely	Colin Hughes

 

* NOTE - Players who have won more than 1 time will get extra shots based on the number of weeks won.

 

Playoffs - Week 1 Recap

WOW!!!!  Not sure if it was the nerves for the 1st week of the Playoffs but the 218 participants this week sure posted some higher than normal scores which was clearly evident by the team scores that varied anywhere from +8 to +27.  The Weekly Team Competition was won by two Slaine Flight teams as Brooksy Boys and Tall Boys and Long Putters both posted team scores of +8.  In the Pyper Division the Master Faders took 1st place for the week with a +14 but shy of the money position.

 

For those interested in seeing the Playoff Standings simply click the Header above "Standings", then select "Playoff Standings".  Once there beside SERIES choose "Playoffs" and beside FLIGHT select either "Slaine" or "Pyper" and click on "GO"......voila.  Now back to week 1.

 

In this week's Closest to the Pin contests Hole # 7 was won by Jeff Lake and Hole # 9 was won by Robin Mallory.  Good Luck in the Year End shootout guys.  This week's On Course contest was the Senior Long Drive on Hole # 2 and while Trevor Low can reportedly make a mean wood fired pizza, clearly following directions is NOT one of his strong suits.  Sorry TLow but maybe in a few years!!!!  Dave Stringer who actually did follow directions was the ultimate winner.

 

Our Sandbagger of the Week would appear to be no one based upon the Team scores however Mark Rossi did separate himself from the entire field as he shot a very nice 38 (+3) and then when combined with his 10 strokes this resulted in a very nice Net score of 28.  Too bad the rest of your team was rotten Mark!!!!  Looking at the Team scores you would suspect that finding a Most Honest Golfer should be a non issue and you would be right.  This week's target goes on Steve Whitelaw who took the weekly crown with a smooth Net score of 49!!!  Looks like you had quite the adventure Steve?

 

Week 16 Recap

Well, that is it for the 2023 Regular Season and now we head into Twenty Valley's version of the FedEx playoffs except for all the really good play...This week we had 211 players make a last ditch effort to boost their team up the leaderboard.  This week's Weekly Team Competition was captured by Tall Boys & Long Putters who fired a nice -11 to lead the way.  Clearly Captain Moe Macpherson had given his team the "Do as I say, not as I do" speech as they carried their Useless Bastard of a Captain to victory.  In 2nd place and only one stroke back at -10 were the seldom mentioned Liv It Up boys.  Even Captain Reo Benoit, fresh off a dismal showing at the Big Cedar Cornhole Championships, was able to post a score that counted towards the team total.  Well at least it seems as though you can golf Reo!! #ROTTEN

 

This weeks Closest to the Pin's were won by Bill Winn on Hole # 7 and Nick Stoehr on Hole # 9.  Guess it is just too bad that you can't putt Nick.....nice par!!!  Our On Course contest this week was the longest successful putt on Hole # 5 and this was captured by Joe Tosello as he completed the "Back to Back" with birdies on 4 & 5.  Please watch this space for a list of the competitors to date for our year end shootout on September 28 before the banquet.

 

This week's Sandbagger of the Week honors will be split this week as we honor a quartet of stellar play.  Firstly we have the trio of Ken McCarthy (40), Josh Wilson (45) and Bruce Brown (37) who all managed to scrape together Net scores of 30 to lead their teams.  Lastly we do need to recognize our Pro Ron Kenesky as it is clear that he is becoming dismayed by seeing his understudy's name in lights recently and came out firing on all cylinders to post a Gross score of 32.  Hope you are felling better now Pro!!

 

In our Most Honest Golfer category we have to call out Brian Culp who was able to fashion a staggering 58 for only 9 holes on way to posting a Net score of 46.  The good thing is Pumper is that I am certain that your playing partners were very supportive of your spectacular play???

 

Here are the teams and their initial standings as we head into Week 1 of 4 for the Playoffs:

                                      Slaine Division                                                                  Pyper Division

                         Don't Rory Be Happy - 10                                                        Master Faders - 10

                       Tall Boys & Long Putters - 8                                                   Multiple Fore-gasms - 8

                               Saudi Pro Tour - 6                                                                   LIV It Up - 6

                                Brooksy Boys - 4                                                                Shank's A Lot - 4

                            Who's Your Caddy - 2                                                           Push Cart Mafia - 2

 

Best of luck to all the teams!!!!

 

Week 15 Recap

We must be nearing the end as a number of teams are stepping up to the plate in an attempt to raise their standings for the playoffs.  This week in the Weekly Team Competition Multiple Fore-gasms led the way by posting a nice -5 followed closely and only one shot back by Shanks A Lot who had a -4.  Next week will decide the placings for the Slaine Division (Top 5) and the Pyper Division (Bottom 5) so it will be interesting to see how it all plays out.

 

This week's Closest to the Pin's were won by Bob Bentley on Hole # 7 and Don Stepien on Hole # 9.  Our On Course Contest was the closest to the pin on Hole # 4 after the 2nd shot and this was captured by Brad Wellings.

 

Our Sandbagger of the Week honors go to Mike Lipischak who fired a nice even par round which made that a net 28.  Most Honest this week goes to League sponsor Steve Grossi who appears to have left his clubs at home last week and had to throw the ball around the front 9 to fashion a smooth 62 for a net score of 48.......YIKES!!!!!  You might wanna get those clubs out of the garage this week Steve?

 

 

 

Week 14 Recap

2 Weeks remain in the Regular Season and teams are fighting for their place in the playoff divisions.  207 golfers this week and some pretty good shooting.

 

The Weekly Team Competition was won by Tall Boys & Long Putters who posted an even team score.  They were followed very closely by Don't Rory Be Happy who were only 1 stroke back at +1.  Very close and there has to be at least one person on the Rory team that is now kicking themselves missing a short putt....

 

This week our Closest to the Pin contests were captured by a couple of seldom mentioned League members as Peter Erwin and Dick Ruschiensky prevailed on Holes # 7 & # 9 respectively and even better to see that they both made their short putts. Good luck in the year end shootout guys!!!.  This weeks On Course contest was the longest successful putt on Hole # 4 and this was captured by Paul Smeltzer.

 

In this week's Sandbagger of the Week review we have a couple of mentions.  Firstly we should tip our hats to Jim "Blackie" Black who clearly carried the heavy load for Don't Rory Be Happy as he fashioned a nice net 29 (-6) after posting a gross score of only +1.  Nice shooting Blackie and wave goodbye to those strokes!!!  We should also mention Mike Karasinski's score this week as he posted a very respectable gross score of 30.  Besides as we all know, if we don't mention it here you are ALL going to hear about it if you willing to walk through the Pro Shop, be on the range or walking anywhere on the course in Mike's vicinity.  Let's be honest, show of hands for how many people have already heard the stories.....that's what I thought.  Good playin' Mike.

 

And this week's Most Honest Golfer award goes to an individual that clearly was out to prove that golf is a hard game and if you believe that you have it figured out the game will eventually take an opportunity to show you that you don't.  Only a few weeks removed from his Hole in One, this week Gord Dunn threw up all over the golf course and came in with an awe inspiring Gross & Net score of 48.  We must however give Gord kudo's for actually completing his round and posting a score as many other weaker individuals would have walked off the course on about Hole # 3, right Mal?

 

Week 13 Recap

We are rapidly progressing through our Regular season play and there are only 3 weeks left to decide which teams end up in which division for the playoffs.  This week our numbers were back up to 215 in some warm weather.  

 

THE STREAK HAS COME TO AN END....there will not be a 4-peat for the Don't Rory Be Happy team as they finished 3rd this week.  This week's winners were the Saudi Pro Tour boys who posted a -1 followed closely in 2nd by Brooksy Boys only 1 stroke back at even par.

 

This week in our much missed Sandbagger of the Week we really need to recognize three outstanding individuals who posted Net 30's this week.  Bill Davis (45), Gary Bolibruck (41) and Brian Hardyman (39) all had great weeks but unfortunately none of them could propel their teams into the money.  In our always entertaining Most Honest Golfer of the week we have two special rounds to highlight.  First was Justin Simard, a 5 handicap, that fired a spectacular 51 for a Net 46 and Drew Orosz who duplicated Justin's net 46 with a smooth 54 for the day.  Well done gents and it is a humbling game isn't it.....

 

We have also been very nice to our Captain's lately so lets take a look at how they led by example this week.  It would seem that for 9 of the 10 teams the term "Captain" actually meant something however for the lowly Liv It Up boys they have to look a long way down their team scoreboard and venture into the Useless Bastard section to find their Captain, if we can use that term.  It seems that Captain Reo Benoit was more of a 200lb anchor as opposed to a Captain for good ship Liv It Up.  Again and example of how humbling this game is eh Commish?

 

And lastly to end on a more comedic note it's probably time to look at our beloved E Flight for a little amusement.  This week in the skins competition for the E Flight where they use Net scores here are the results:

Hole # 1 - Birdie (Cut off by 8 golfers)

Hole # 2 - Birdie (Cut off by 10 golfers)

Hole # 3 - Eagle (Cut off by 2 golfers)

Hole # 4 - Eagle (Cut off by 3 golfers)

Hole # 5 - Eagle (Cut off by 3 golfers)

Hole # 6 - Eagle (Won by Adam Strecker, please note Most Honest comments in Week 12)

Hole # 7 - Eagle (net 1 cur off by 4 golfers)

Hole # 8 - Birdie (cut off by 11 golfers)

Hole # 9 - Double Eagle (net 0, yes ZERO, won by Bill Davis, please see Sandbagger of the Week mention above)

 

I will leave these scores for you to ponder on your own......

 

Week 12 Recap

Some unsettled weather last week kept the numbers low at only 191.  9 of the 10 teams were however able to post a Team score and it would seem that Don't Rory Be Happy is on a roll with another top finish and a three-peat as they posted a +5.  They were followed very closely by Saudi Pro Tour at +7.

 

We do however have some unfortunate news with regards to the Skin's competition in that the pin location for Hole # 8 was changed in the morning after a fair number of players had already played the hole.  The only fair thing to do is to simply cancel any skins won on Hole # 8 so for Nick Holubowsky ($17.33), Dave Steinman ($21.33) & Dave VanSickle ($16.33) while you will get credit for your scores on that hole your payouts will be cancelled.  Our apologies and we hope that this will not occur again....

 

In our Most Honest Golfer debacle we have co-winners this week as both Josh Wilson (59) and Adam Strecker (58) posted laughable Net scores of 47.  It would seem that at least in Adam's case that the golfing Gods have caught up with him after making Sandbagger of the Week in Week 5....

 

This week's Closest to the Pin's were captured by Hal Kerby ( # 7) and Paul Byrne ( # 9) while the On-Course contest this week was the Closest to the Keg on Hole # 1 and it was won by Chris Lampman.

 

 

 

Week 11 Recap

Well it would seem that the weather Gods that we have dodged so far this summer caught up with the later rounds this week and there were a number of DNF's.  That being said at least half of the teams, as per league rules, were able to post a team score so the weekly results will stand.  In fact ALL teams were able to post a team score this week.  This week Don't Rory Be Happy repeated as "top of the heap" as the only team under par with a -4.  In second were Brooksy Boys who posted a +5.

 

In our weekly Closest to the Pin contests Nathan "Little Stevie" Nicholls captured Hole # 7 and Shawn Thomas was the best on Hole # 9.  This weeks On Course contest was the Longest Drive on Hole # 2 and this was captured by Zac Matthews.

 

Once again our Sandbagger of the Week is not worth mentioning simply due to the fact that the best numbers were only slightly below par.  However in the ever popular Most Honest Golfer Category we can't let Ian Emberley's stellar efforts go unmentioned as he was able to finish his 9 holes.  Evidently punting the little white sphere around the golf course is a recipe for disaster as Ian posted a gross score of 51 for a lovely net 46....OUCH

 

We are also very happy to report that no Golfers, Carts, benches, signs or trees were harmed in the completion of Adam Dunn's round.  Congrats Dunner and the rest of the League thanks you....

 

 

 

Week 10 Recap

A wet start to the day deterred some of the players but still 216 showed up once the weather turned.  This week the clear winners were Don't Rory Be Happy as they lapped the field with their -14 team score and one of only two teams under par.  In second this week was Master Faders at -2.  DFL for the week goes to Tall Boys and Long Putters and they seem quite comfortable in this spot as it is the 2nd week in a row living in the bottom.  C'mon Captain Macpherson, time to light a fire under the guys!!!

 

This week's On Course Contest was the longest successful putt on Hole # 6 which was captured by Derek Bodden.  In our Closest to the Pins Hole # 7 was won by Mike Konkle and Hole # 9 was won by Sid Wasitis.  Good Luck in the year end shoot out boys.

 

Now for the fun stuff....Sandbagger of the Week is really not worth mentioning as it was only a Net 31 and shot by a multitude of players.  The Most Honest Golfer award this week goes to none other than Scott Rose for his spectacular 59 (net 49) which included a remarkable double figured 10 on the 1st hole only to be followed up by a birdie (net eagle) on Hole # 2 for a skin!!!!  Not sure that wins the consistency award Rosy but clearly one of the best bounce back holes in a while....we won't punish you by discussing the other 7 holes.

 

And lastly a special news statement from the club for any golfers in the vicinity of Adam Dunn should he ever be provided with a motorized cart at Twenty Valley ANYTIME in the future...RUN...do not look back.....do not delay....JUST RUN!!!!!  But seriously Dunner, it really might be a great rule of thumb to actually be looking in the direction you are driving!!!!!  This isn't Saturday night at the Fall Fair.....

 

 

 

This Week’s League Night Roundtable

The club announced that it was thinking about banning straws.  Your thoughts?

 

“But, how will I get the drink into my mouth?”  Mark Gilbert

“That’s a shame.  I was just learning how to use those things.”  Troy Cooper

 

Week 9 Recap

Well with Week 9 in the books we are past the halfway point in the Regular season and the League Standings are starting to take shape as teams begin to sort themselves out.  There is a tie for the top between Who's Your Caddy & Tall Boys and Long Putters with 5th place only 17 points back.  In 6th place and 20 points out of 5th is Multiple Fore-gasms with last place only 13 points back.  Push Cart Mafia seems to be this years clear winner of the Absentee Award as they have only been able to muster up a meager 177 participation points in 9 weeks while being in 3rd overall for match points won.  Looks like Captain Stew Law is going to have to rally the troops!!!

 

This weeks winners were Saudi Pro Tour finishing with the only below par team score posting a -1 and 2nd by only 1 stroke were Master Faders at +4.  DFL for week 9 goes to the League leading Tall Boys and Long Putters who were only able to post an embarrassing +24.  Strangely absent in this weeks play was Captain Moe Macpherson so evidently the rest of the team decided to take the day off as well?

 

The On-Course contest this week was the longest successful putt on Hole # 3 which was won by by the smooth swinging Mike Morrison.  The Closest to the Pins were won by Terry Lohnes and Mike Haslam on Holes # 7 & # 9 respectively.  Good luck in the year end shootout boys.

 

Week 9's Sandbagger of the Week was  none other than Robb Cranbury who clearly picked things up from his most honest golfer mention in week 6 to fire a 43 in Week 9 with 15 strokes to make that an even 28.  Guess all that hard work to get those strokes up will have to start all over again Robb?  This week's Most Honest Golfer goes to Bill Annand who is typically a picture of consistency but not in Week 9 as he fired a net 60 and his 5 strokes only moved that needle to a 55.....did you forget your clubs at home this week Bill?

 

This Week's League Roundtable

     The Pro Shop is planning to introduce a service where, for $188 dollars per month,

members can rent six items of clothes to wear and return.  Your thoughts?

 

“Sounds good but truth be told, I’ve been wearing and returning clothes to our Pro Shop since about 1973.”  Mal Smithson

“You shouldn’t dismiss an idea simply because it won’t work and sounds insane.”  Ryan Christie

 

Week 8 Recap

Another beautiful week with another good showing as 232 players tee'd off.  This week Shanks A Lot made an appearance as they led the field with a very nice -18.  Probably helped a great deal that Mike Konkle fired the low round of the week with a Gross score of 32!!!  In second and only 1 stroke back at -17 were Master Faders who were led by Mike Persia and Rob Dick with matching 34's.  Be careful Dick'er CC's are just around the corner and A Flight might be a distant memory....DFL for Week 8 goes to Who's Your Caddy as it appears that the handicap system has caught up with them as they could only muster a team score of +13!!!

 

Clubhouse chatter centered around this season's first Hole In One as Gord Dunn aced Hole # 7 and surprisingly wasn't cutt off for Closest to the Pin (LOL).  Congrat's Gord.  Our other Closest to the Pin was won by Joe Holubowsky on Hole # 7.  This weeks On Course Contest was won by Dave "Tripod" Mego (No not why you think!!!!) as managed to get his tee ball closest to the Keg on the 1st fairway.

 

This week's Most Honest Golfer goes to Adam Warrack who fashioned a truly miserable 54 for a net score of 47.  Considerably different that the conversation last week about another 7 handicapper, eh Mike?  This weeks coveted Sandbagger of the Week goes to Gary Maas who fashioned a nice 30 (-5) net score after his 46 strokes.  Guess we can wave good bye to some of those strokes eh Gary.

 

This Week’s League Roundtable

This week's Clubhouse debate was a result of last week's Sandbagger of the Week award to Mike Sinclair.  There was considerable discussion and a great deal of fact finding so let's just let a picture say a thousand words....

 

 

 

 

Week 7 Recap

Well Week 7 saw 233 players competing for their teams and over 100 of those actually know that they are on teams.  Bravo!!!  Not really sure what happened this week but our standings leaders were no where to be seen in the Top 2.  This week Saudi Pro Tour finished atop the teams with a respectable -18 while 2nd place and only 6 strokes back were Master Fader's who clearly were motivated by Captain Shawn Thomas who led by example with a nice gross score of 36 (+1).  The short lived victory from last week for Liv It Up came crashing back to reality this week as they returned to their DFL position with a woeful +15.  Compounding their issues was the fact that they were only able to muster up 20 golfers beaten only by Push Cart Mafia as they clearly had better things to be doing with only 18 golfers in attendance.  Gonna need to fire those guys up Captains!!!

 

The On Course Contest this week was Longest Drive for everyone on Hole # 2.  This was won by Jeremy Wickman who clearly benefited from an early round with very calm winds but none the less waxed the field.  In our Closest to the Pin holes they were won by Matthew Porkolab on Hole # 7 and Griffin Gillis on Hole # 9.  At least Matt made the putt for a birdie, but Griffin.....nice par!!!!  Good luck in the year end shootout gents.

 

This weeks Sandbagger of the Week goes to none other than Mike Sinclair who fashioned a nice 28 (-7) and on deeper analysis by our stats crew it would seem that Mike, who has somehow fashioned a nice 7 handicap for 9 holes, was able to go around in a smooth even par score of 35 which saw him par every hole except for his Birdies on Hole # 1 & # 6 and a Double Bogey on Hole # 7.  Wonder of we should look up the odds on players shooting that many strokes under their handicap??  Great playing Mike and hope you enjoyed your rounds with 7 strokes as they will be GONE!!!!

 

Our Most Honest Golfer Award for Week 7 goes to Roger Piotrowski who, with his 7 strokes, did not follow in the footsteps of Mike Sinclair as discussed above but rather kicked the little white ball around for 9 holes mustering up a rocky 54 shots (kicks) for a Net score of 47.  Welcome back Roger and don't get dismayed as it will get better and hey, if it doesn't we will be sure to write about it here....

 

This week lets also discuss integrity....yes you all at least know what that word means, I think....Well it would seem that our cash starved Professional Ron Kenesky, who has not made a dime off of his Men's League play since June of last year had an opportunity this week as his team only finished in 3rd by 1 shot.  As our crack team of reporters has discovered, he made a 3' putt for which his playing partners had already echoed the League's most overused phrase "THATS GOOD" however his putt did not find the bottom of the cup and he counted a bogey.  Maybe his playing partners need to go to the Reo Robbin's school of "Gimmee's" or perhaps the Pro can take a few lessons from the aforementioned Mike Sinclair as he only got you by one pro!!!!  Also it should be mentioned that occasionally we get those heart warming stories of League players going above and beyond for their team and this week was a prime example of this for Jake Ohanian who teed it up in the 3rd round of the Ontario Mid-Amateur Championship Thursday at 9:00am and then after completing play, and finishing a very respectable T36 with rounds of 76, 75 & 73 on a tough Burlington GC track, hustled down to the Valley to make his tee time for his team and fired another 35.  Just too bad that your dedication was not reciprocated Jake.  Congrats.

 

This Week’s League Roundtable

Stu Law, the captain of the Push Cart Mafia is once again stinking the joint out as a captain.  Your thoughts?

 

“Without pointing the finger of blame at any one person, I’d say his team's record is entirely the fault of his captaincy.”  Jake Ohanian

 

“I know there are polls out there indicating Stu has a 22% approval rating but guys like he and I know polls are just a

collection of statistics that reflect what people are really thinking.”  Nick Smith

 

 

Week 6 Recap

Wow...234 golfers hustled their way around the course and beat the, what seems like, never ending rain.  It also seems like the fear of rain did not deter the league leading Who's Your Caddy team from once again finishing atop the leaderboard yet again as they finished up with a tidy -16.  In 2nd and making their debut appearance in the money were the Liv It Up boys who closed with a -11.  I guess that we might as well bring the elephant in the room to the forefront right now and discuss our Sandbagger of the Week and making his 2nd appearance at the top of this list is none other than Andrew Ceolin who once again posted a 26 (-9) for the second time this season.  Andrew was seen in a Dustin Johnson like strut leaving the clubhouse Thursday night saying to everyone "Don't hate the Player, Hate the Game".  Well done Andrew however in the name of total transparency the inquest has already been initiated....

 

The weekly On Course Contest this week was the longest successful putt on home # 5 and our on course reports indicated that it was won by John Gardner who sunk a bomb from downtown Campden to take the title,  In our Closest to the Pin contests they were won by Mike Baines on Hole # 7 and Az Bacchus on Hole # 9.  Good luck in the year end shootout boys.

 

This week in our ever popular Most Honest Golfer category you might think that Steve Leistner would have captured the title with his putrid net score of 54!!! however as bad as that may seem this weeks winner certainly has set the bar to a new all time high, or low depending on your perspective, as Robb Cranbury kicked it around the front nine to the tune of 57!!!  And remember for those playing along at home that is after the deduction of his 11 strokes....let's leave the math on that one to you guys.

 

Lastly, and before we get to this weeks Round Table, if anyone has a working golf cart for sale I believe that Roger Matthews is in the market judging by the jumping up and down and hand waving he did on hole # 4 yesterday as he waited for his emergency buggy to be delivered yesterday.  Maybe next time Roger you might want to tell them # 4 tee as opposed to just hole # 4 for better service?

 

The highlights of this weeks Round Table are as follows:

 

Some players have urged our League Committee to cancel the league blog, calling it “fake” after

learning of an article that commented about a plyers ability.  Your thoughts?

 

“I did the same thing after the hit piece Hoop ran on me last year.”  Colin "One Job" Murphy

"Can't say that I hate the publicity"  Captain Reo Benoit

“There’s a Men’s Night blog?”  Everyone else

 

Week 5 Recap

Week 5 is in the books and it appears that handicaps are now a better reflection of the players handicaps as the Team Scores dropped like stones this week.  The 233 golfers playing this week probably helped as well.  This weeks winning teams were Multiple Fore-gasms with a smooth -26.  In 2nd this week and winning in a tie-breaker over Who's Your Caddy were Saudi Pro Tour at -22.  The Saudi's can thank Ben McMaster who, while being a "Useless Bastard", edged out Michael Tarbutt of the Caddy's with a net 36 vs a 37 for Mike.

 

In our weekly On Course Contest we took the Closest to the Pin in 2 shots on Hole # 6.  This was captured by Jeremy Wickman who now has a new sleeve of balls with his name on them.  In our Closest to the Pin contests Hole # 7 was won by Mike Karasinski and Hole # 9 was won by Shawn Thomas.  These guys have both now been entered into the year end shoot-out.

 

The ever popular Sandbagger of the Week goes to another League newbie Adam Strecker who fashioned a smooth 43 on a handicap of 19 for a great net score of 24.  I know a lot of single digit handicapper's, like Dave Keracher, Rob McMaster and Wayne Nicholls, that would have taken a 43 this week Adam.....well played.

 

It would also only seem fitting that if we are going to cast stones at our Sandbaggers that we have a little fun with our Most Honest Golfer of the Week.  The honors in Week 5 go to none other than our very own Steve Muys who stumbled his way around to a net score of 44.  Looking at his card it appears that Steve may have been having a poker game going on with 5 7's and 4 5's or maybe the first week of slick greens was a little to much Steve??

 

And lastly we have started a weekly Roundtable discussion in order to keep League Members abreast of current goings on.  This weeks highlights are below

 

Fitness experts suggest golf league participants should adopt a fitness program in order to enhance flexibility,

strengthen their cores and improve their balance.  Your thoughts?

 

“It’s been six months since I joined a gym and I’ve seen zero progress.  I’m going there tomorrow in person to find out what the hell is going on.”  Mike Northey

 

“What’s this I heard about Krispy Kreme giving out free donuts?”  Mal Smithson

 

Week 4 Recap

Another great week out on the course as 225 golfers showed up for their teams.  The weather and the golf were hot.  This week's winning teams were Who's Your Caddy making their 3rd straight weekly appearance in the Top 2.  They won in a tiebreaker over Push Cart Mafia as both teams finished with respectable -7 scores.  In last place this week were the early favorite Brooksy Boys who struggled to a +13.  The range of scores continues to tighten as handicaps continue to adjust for the new league players.

 

This week's On Course contest was the longest putt on Hole # 3 which was won by Paul Tomlinson.  This week's Closest to the Pin contests were captured by John Valk on Hole # 7 and Doug Decoste on Hole # 9.  Both of these guys have now earned a shot during the year end, pressure packed, shootout.  Paul will win a sleeve of Titleist golf balls for his efforts.

 

The Sandbagger of the Week goes to a newcomer, surprise right, Griffin Gillis as he fashioned a smooth Net score of 26 for the front nine.  Well played Griffin!!!

 

Lastly, let's have a look at our Captains in Week 4 and see if they are leading by example.  Well of the 10 Captains, everyone participated in Week 4 and 7 of the 10 counted for their teams.  In the Useless Bastard category we find Moe MacPherson, Denny Therrien and Reo Benoit who were unable to lead by example and perhaps the reason why their teams were taking on water this week???

 

 

Week 3 Recap

228 Golfers for Week 3 and the battle for the top is just beginning.  Team vs Team matches are getting closer each week as Sandbaggers and Shooters have their handicaps adjusted to better reflect their game.  This weeks winning teams were Shank's a Lot at -10 and Who's Your Caddy winning in a tiebreaker over Don't Rory Be Happy at -6.  The bottom feeder this week was Liv It Up at +10.  Time to pull out the motivational 8-tracks for your team Captain Reo Benoit.

 

This weeks On Course contest was the Longest Drive for the 60+ Seniors in the League.  This was won by Dave Stringer.  This weeks Closest to the Pins were won by Al Noble on # 7 and Joel Davis on # 9.

 

This weeks Sandbagger of the Week goes to another newcomer in Geoff Blain.  The Low Gross honors went to Joel Martens who fashioned a nice 32 (-3).

 

All of the results can be viewed above under the Scoring/Skins/Ringerboard Tab.

 

Maybe this week we can even convince Murph to get the clubhouse television turned on so that those coming in after the round can have a look at the results.  I know it may seem like a lot to ask but when you only have #onejob maybe it's not too much of an ask.....time will tell????

 

Week 2 Recap

 

Well, after all the concern raised last week everyone will be happy to know that Murph, Richie, John and Dave were able to complete their round on the same calendar day for Week 2.  I am not sure if the credit lies with Murph who clearly was on a mission to lead by example or if it was Joel Davis repeatedly bombing shots over their heads.  In either case, no one was hurt and by the looks of his score Murph has clearly found a new tempo that works for him.  WELL DONE!!!

 

Again Week 2 had great attendance with 234 golfers playing.

 

The Team vs Team Competition had some very close matches with 3 of the 5 matches being single figure differences while there were a couple lopsided victories.  Results are above under "SCORING / SKINS / RINGERBOARD.

 

This weeks winning teams were Who's Your Caddy (-5) and Don't Rory be Happy (-4) while the worst team was Push Cart Mafia at a whopping +37.  YIKES....

 

This weeks On-Course contest was the Open field Longest Drive on Hole # 2.  It would seem that the early risers were the benefactors of some calm wind conditions as Gord Dunn posted early and hung on for the balance of the day.  The Closest to the Pins were won by Joel Martens on # 7 and newbie Bill Winn on # 9.

 

Well it is only Week 2 and it would only seem fitting that we discuss everyone's favorite Skins flight and that is the E Flight were they get to use Net scores.  This is a very large flight which as a result creates a very large weekly pot.  As an example of what gets cut off on a weekly basis lets look at Week 2 scores from this flight: Birdie on 6, Eagle on 1, 4, 5, 7 & 9.  Double Eagle on 3 & 8.  This week there was only 1 winner in the flight and it was another newbie Issac Humphrey with an Eagle on # 2.  I am quite certain that Issac's playing partners will enjoy a few free rounds on Issac's tab in Week 3 as he walked away with $170 for his skin.

 

It's probably also time to identify our shadiest of characters as we highlight our best Sandbaggers of the Week.  While there are no physical awards for this category I am quite certain that the needling will have a great effect.  In 1st place with a stellar Net score of -9 (26) is another newbie in Andrew Ceolin.  Shockingly the 2nd place was another newbie Bill "Cecil" Blake who fashioned a smooth Net score of -7 (28).  I am thinking that we are going to have to change our acceptance criteria for new Members moving forward?

 

Till next week

 

Week 1 Recap

 

Well Week 1 is in the books and we had 233 golfers playing their trade this past Thursday.  Well done everyone.  

 

In our Team vs Team Competition the winners were Don't Rory be Happy by 9, Push Cart Mafia by 8, Saudi Pro Tour by 1, Brooksy Boys by 24 while Multiple Fore-gasms & Who's Your Caddy tied their match.

 

The Weekly Low Team Scores went to Brooksy Boys at +1 and Saudi Pro Tour at +5

 

This weeks On Course Contest was the longest made putt on Hole #4 which was captured by none other than Jim Black.  The Closest to the Pin's were won by Captain Dave Dickey on Hole #7 and Wayne Nichols on Hole #9.  Dave and Wayne have now earned their way into the season ending shootout in front of tons of admirers.

 

Weekly Skins winners were as follows:

A Flight - Trevor Low $70, Birdie on 9

B Flight - Stephen Ste. Croix $28, Birdie on 8

Russ Archibald $28, Birdie on 9

C Flight - Chris Lampman $96, Birdie on 9

D Flight - Scott Blain $84, Birdie on 2

E Flight (Net Skins) - Paul Tomlinson $53.33, Eagle on 3

Tim Lamb $53.33, Eagle on 6

Milt Pogson $53.33, Eagle on 9

 

All of the stats can be found above by clicking on the appropriate section of the header.

 

Couple other notables and we appreciate everyone's concern but I am happy to announce that Colin Murphy, Rich Lys, John Gardner and Dave Pundyk just walked off the 18th green at 10:45 Friday morning.  Seems that the game got called cause of darkness and they all had to return to finish at sunrise.  They also wanted to apologize to the rest of the golf course but come on folks, they were in a high stakes match....

 

Lastly, from the Pro Shop, PLEASE make sure that you write full names on the scorecards along with the tees that you played.  It is hard for the pro shop staff to determine who Jeff is, or Mike or Trigger, Stumpy and Stretch.  If the tee blocks are not identified then the default will be the green tees so if you wanna see your handicap drop don't list your tees....

 

See you next week

 

 

 

Season Kick off is May 11

 

Well the teams are picked and 274 golfers are pumped to hit the course.  Now is when we find out how well the Captains did in their team selections.  Which team will be great, which team will be atrocious, why did he pick Coop?  All these questions will now be answered over the course of the next 20 weeks and it should be both entertaining and competitive.

 

One of the most popular questions from those who couldn't get their lazy asses off the couch last week is "What team am I on?".  Well the teams are listed under the 2023 Men's League tab above however some of you old farts are going to have to strap on your binoculars in order to read them.

 

There are many in the League who get up each morning to find their horoscope in order to determine how their day or week is going to go.  To avoid you having to rattle through the local paper desperately searching for good news we present this weeks horoscopes:

 

Aquarius | January 21 to February 18: The detective investigating your death will suspect all three members of your regular group of foul play simply because he would have tried to kill you himself.

 

Pisces | February 19 to March 20: Some weeks, everything about your game seems dark and without hope. When you begin feeling this way, it’s important to remember that these are the natural consequences of being realistic.

 

Aries | March 21 to April 20: They say the clothes make the man, but Mal Smithson is proof that this is simply not the case.

 

Taurus | April 21 to May 21: Sometimes words are not enough to express how someone is feeling, which is why people keep defecating in your locker.

 

Gemini | May 22 to June 21: You’ll learn that any sized pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.

 

Cancer | June 22 to July 21: Just when you think your round couldn’t possibly get any worse, the stars will confirm that you are correct and it is pretty much as bad as possible.

 

Leo | July 22 to August 23: Your biggest mistake wasn’t assuming there was some kind of secret to the game of golf.  It was assuming it was the kind of secret that would make your game better.

 

Virgo | August 24 to September 22: When all is said and done, only you can make yourself feel bad. Well, you and your score.

 

Libra | September 23 to October 23: The stars say to hold tight. Your golf game is about to undergo a dramatic change. Feel free to interpret that as a hopeful statement if you like.

 

Scorpio | October 24 to November 22: It’s getting harder for the guys you played with to believe that you never have any cash on you.

 

Sagittarius | November 23 to December 21: When you were a child, you spoke as a child, and you thought as a child; so no real changes, then.

 

Capricorn | December 22 to January 20: Somehow, exclaiming “Someone in this room is an idiot!” lacks dramatic weight when everyone in the room knows you’re an idiot.

 

 

Play well this week guys.....yes, even you Reo...

 

 

Welcome to the 2023 Season of the Twenty Valley Men's League

 

The League is currently in the preparation phase and all looks on schedule for the start of the season.  Please note the following important dates with more information to come:

 

Thursday May 4 - Team Draft Banquet

Thursday May 11 - First Week of Regular Season play

Thursday August 31 - First week of Playoffs

Thursday September 21 - Last week of Playoffs

Thursday September 28 - League Awards Banquet